I can't begin to tell you of the many times my friends and I get into arguments that eventually lose any semblance of structure, becoming shouting matches where we just lob the stupidest, meanest insults we can fathom.
You could call it a unique art form, but honestly, being creative for that long can become difficult. Don't strain your mind trying to be the offensive comeback kid—just let your Android device to do the heavy lifting.
With a simple but effective app by Allen Helton, we'll have plenty of nasty comments to hurl at our "friends". Install the Offensive Insult Generator from Google Play, which does exactly what the the name implies.
This application is nothing short of offensive, and some of these insults were too harsh even for me to repeat out loud. Don't worry, you can set expletives off, though it's still really mean without any bad words.
To fire off insult after insult, just quickly shake your device to generate new suggestions. You will never be left speechless again, always having a fresh insult for those special assholes in your life.
It's minimal and ad-supported, but it does exactly what I'd need. Maybe a future update will enable some extra preferences or features, like a voice output to avoid even having to utter the words. But it is pretty funny right now; give it a try and go talk some sh**.